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So this is friday already huh..
That's mean is the day that's I've to once again leave this house..
There's always this kind of feeling not to leave everytime I'm return here..
Maybe that's also the reason why I don't come home often..
Even tough just to go to my grand parents home, I rarely go there..
Everyone think there's must be something that's keep me away..
They said maybe I got a girlfriend so I rarely come home..
Funny though, but that's not the real problem here..
That sad feeling when I leave..
Not because I'm afraid of going far from home..
It's just everytime I left..
I know that's both my dad and mom, will be lonely..
My mom who everyday spent hour by herself..
I couldn't bear that feeling..
So rather I bring that's to them..
I'd like not to repeat the exact feel they have, everytime I left this house..
So do with my grandparent..
That's why I'm always left with saying a false word..
I'll comeback in shortly notice..
But I didn't..
And this feeling now worseing even more..
With my study didn't goes as well as I expected..
It's feel like..
They loneliness all this time just for nothing..
I failed to get their loneliness disappear as soon as possible..
I just prolonged my studies even more..
What should I do?
What I really am?
Can I still smile like I used to?
Did I ever smile?
Did I call something like that was a smile??
Am I really change or I'm just changing the mask?