I don't know what I really want to write about, hey kids if you read this part of stories, well I guess you will find it out that, how boring my life right now. No matter how hard I push it, I seem unable to finish my final project. If you asked me what the obstacle is, well it was me after all.
Last January I just slacking off again, going to Surabaya to find a little bit of refreshment, but it doesn't last long, really I wasted another money my parent spend on me. So I started to think how can I get an income, than I started to learn about money market investment and trading stock. Well, it turn out to be a little hard, but somehow I still made a decent profit. Not just that, I'm starting to take a part time job, as an acting patient at FK undip, I got a decent payment from there.
All of that love stories use to bothered me seem find it end. I couldn't care less about that stupid thing anymore. Right now I just left that kind of thing In His hand, if the time come, I think I will find it easy not as hard as I always trying until now. Even tough that kind of feel I have toward someone still lingering on me. I don't know, maybe it's because all the time we spend together since the beginning our college life even until recently, I grow an affection toward her, but all of that failure I experienced in the past, with the girl I liked and ended up get rejection, somehow a wall suddenly appear within my heart toward her. I think It still the best for now, I just continuing admired her, and I still hoping she still can got some man who better than me, or from all of her exes, really that was the best option for her, the me I'm now is just a burden for her so I'm hoping she will find that man, who will treat her well. How pathetic I'm right now right, can't fight for anything I want, I love, even fighting for myself, what I really want, I'm still guessing, I'm always want to be that man who can supporting everyone I love, but can I??
Like I said I don't really know what I'm talking about, I'm just completely lost it, I'm just trashing out everything in my mind to this post. Hey, I never know how you really feel toward me, or what your opinion about me, somehow I wonder what kind of answer would you like to give, but don't be bother about it. It's just the stupid me after all. Ahh, I really wanna finish this university life as soon as possible, get off from this city, maybe then I can make a new start again, just like Ilga said to me. Maybe I should pay more attention what everyone talk to me..
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