So, this thought happen more a week ago. In the normal friday as always, I got nothing to do, when then I was invited by my friend Arda, to go to Klotok Coffee at Ungaran. At first I kinda doesn't much interested, until a several hour that I know I was unable to sleep despite being so tired because of playing basketball in the afternoon. I decided to go, firstly I called Chris who just got a freetime because his girlfriend Pingkan, were out of town. Like I thought he accepted it, so I decided to go to basecamp PRMK FT first to bring another companion also looking out for Arda. But when we arrived at basecamp Arda seem nowhere to be found. And because there was no one else like to join in so me and Chris decided to go to Ungaran by just the two of us. Until then in the middle of the way we knew that Arda already at the crime scene, so we just hand offer the our requested coffee.
Finally we arrived at Ungaran City Hall, where the coffee booth located. We spend our time talking from one thing to another. Listening to their stories really moved me, somehow lays deep inside me I really like to helped them achieve what they want.
The next days, later in the afternoon, me and chris decided to accompany Danus team sing a song at Chinatown. Also we could met with our friend Pundhi who just get back to Semarang from Surabaya. But some bad news arrive while we on the way to downtown. We got news that's our junior from Cepu named Dio, has passed away. So we decided get back to basecamp. I knew him, because he is one of the Junior that I washed his feet when Retret. It's shocked me tough, even I got to think, everyone that's connecting with me always met misery tragedy. But I tried so hard ease that kind of mind. After we praying together at basecamp, I'm asking everyone in PRMK Elektro, who wanted to pay a visit to Dio house. Skip forward, there are 7 person including me that will go in the next morning, using Tawang cars.
In that grey sunday, we goes to Cepu. It's take almost 4 hour to arrived at Dio Houses. I can sense the sadness filling up the air around his house. That's day not as sunny as usual, dark grey cloud surrounding the skies as it was crying for him. To be dying in such a young age, while there is so much thing he could have done, it's so sadly. I don't know how it's feel when we are died, but I somehow could imagine it through the nightmare I had long before.
I'm always thought there is definetly someone that's could protect this youngster. On my way back I'm feeling that I should take care of my Junior safety. When I realized tawang drive somehow dangerous, I bet myself at the frontline, even tough I know my cars light not so reliable. Eventually we arrived at Semarang safely.
After that event, our junior from 2015 start to actively chatted with us in the group, maybe this is the rainbow He showed us. As their seniors I really wanted to watch them growth and even able to surpass their other senior achievment. And that was the moment I start to catch "it". The moment I started to realized everything that was up until now.
You know sometime being alive without knowing what's you really are seem annoying. And that's just now I discovered "it", my role why the Up Above keep watching me, guide me, and protect me. I understand that's despite being so weak, I'm also not as smart as all of my friend. But yet I'm still managed to made them the friend of mine, speak of it's naturally that human would chose either he is smarter or stronger to be their friend. But I don't really have either, what I'm always have just a mere spirit not to give up, and dream that someday I could see the top of the world with all of my friend. I don't have good strategy as I'm always trusted everything to the God only. My friend said to me that's hoping is not strategy, but what kind strategy we have in this puzzling world? I'm start to thinking everything is just like a chess game. We just the pieces of that's game, and in that game every pieces are the supporter for the king to win the game. As for me that's I realized why I'm always get that incredible feel when everyone put their trust on me, when everyone asked me to do their favor, yes I think that was "it", that was my role in this world, that I'm a "supporter" for everyone that close to me. So I think the King that I wanted to protect and share the "win" in this world was my friend, my family, and every little kid that someday will lead this world to better future. Why I really wanted to support them? Because I think not everyone born to be a leader, but to be able to support the right leader, is something supporter can proud of, I want to protect that little kid from impurity of this world, I had enough seen them crying offer their dead parent because of war, this world is sick and corrupted, that's also the reason why I want to make my own companies, so somehow with money I could gather, I'm able to save their smile, so this world could have a better future.
But then another miss fortune happened. The girl I fall for quite sometime had just lost her lovely dog. Knowing that fact I really couldn't do a thing even tough I desperately want to know how should I act knowing that she's not even my girlfriend yet but I caring her a lot. After all it's my first time experienced this kind of event. I'm feeling pathetic, that I remember what a soldier said when Jesus was crusified, "How can He save the other, when He unable to save himself.", that's word really wrote deep in my thought. Yeah, I know that's I'm weak, I'm stupid, and I'm careless, I never know anything more than just keep trying, if I really want to be a good supporter, all I need to do just getting stronger and smarter. I won't give up until I can become a good great bridge that able to support everyone dreams. Even if I'm just a pawn in this game, I think Someone who control it's all know that I can become stronger, all I need to do just keep moving forward until I can become a "Queen/General" of His game. Afterall He won't let us lose the game right, so I will put the result up in His hand, while I do everything that I could as supporter.
