As I stare to the skies that night,
I start counting, count and count, until I lost of the track,

Then I wonder when was the last time,
I shouted what I really want from deep within my heart,

What I really longing for..

I don't remember, 

I grew up, thinking what best for everyone,

Never once I think, ever I thought something just for me,

I don't really know what I want,

What is it that I really longing for..

Make me wondering everyday, day by day,

Why am I alive,

What good is it to keep someone like me alive for so long,

Everyone always kind to me,
I really grateful of that,

But, is it the kind of life, that I always searching for?

I just, want, someone said to me, just this one phrase,

It is okay to tell everyone what you ever wanting for,

Just that one phrase,

I think could change my whole life.

I don't have the gut to tell myself that..

I'm too afraid,

Every time I tell what I wanted,

It will never come,
So I lost count how many time I wished, I doesn't matter anymore,

It won't come true anyway.

So I forbid my self to ever expect something again,

To hoping again,

To dream about future,

It won't surprise me, if any second now I'm die,

Maybe that what best.

I'm tired,

I'm tired living on mask,

Tried to keep on everyone standard,
I want freedom,

I want to shout it out loud about what I want, about my dream, about life..

I wanted it so bad.